> It was snowing all last night. So my day went like this:
> 8:00 I made a snowman.
> 8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why it wasn’t a snowwoman.
> 8:15 So, I also made a snowwoman.
> 8:17 My neighbours’ nanny complained about my snowwoman’s voluptuous chest.
> 8:20 The gay couple living nearby grumbled that it should have been
> two snowmen instead.
> 8:25 The vegans at No. 12 complained about the carrot nose. Carrots
> are veggie food and must not be desecrated to decorate snow figures
> 8:28 I am being called a racist because the snowwoman is white.
> 8:31 The Muslim across the road wants the snowwoman to wear a headscarf.
> 8:40 Someone calls the cops who show up to see what’s going on.
> 8:42 They tell me the broomstick of the snowwoman needs to be removed
> because it could be used as a deadly weapon. Things get worse when I
> mutter: “Yeah, if it’s up your a***”
> 8:45 A TV news crew shows up. I am asked if I know the difference
> between snowmen and snow- women? I reply, “Snowballs.” That gets me
> accused of being sexist.
> 8:52 My phone is seized and thoroughly checked while I am being
> blindfolded and flown to the police station in a helicopter.
> 9:00 I’m on the TV news as a suspected terrorist, intent on stirring
> up trouble during this difficult weather.
> 9:10 I am asked if I have any accomplices.
> 9:29 A little known jihadist group claims it was their plot.
> Moral: There is no moral to this story. It’s just the screwed-up country we live in today.